Making the Right Decisions

Is there Such a thing in life. Making the right decision. Or is it at the very point in time the decision is right and that's the only time its rite to the core? I have many times made decisions which i thought were the right ones, then after executing it, it just turns out to be so wrong.

Is that why they say you should't base your decision just on your own but always bring it up to the Lord. I have done that too. But the sad thing is , I cannot ever hear when I most want to hear from Him. Or maybe He is speaking to me but due to my human nature, I don't hear him?

These last few months has been really tough for me. I know everyone I know out there is probably fedup of talking to me. But I try. i do. I apply for job, i moved on from my old job.I try to make the right decisions but alas it all fails me.

I read the bible to know whats God's message is for me. But i don't see it. Almost every nite for the past few months I have been crying. Tears always streaming down. Not that I don't want to snap out of it, I don't know how. I am so afraid to make anymore decisions as each one i make I just fall deeper.

I would love to be able to have a dream again. To do what i want without having to worry about what my parents would do to me when they find out I want to leave the country and move somewhere else and not kill me about the new condo. Quit my job when i want to. Travel far and see the world without having to worry about money. Singing and laughing and writing and just being happy. But dare not as dreams are only dreams they don't make out reality or very seldom do.

Who am I? Thats what I need to discover once more. But Who can help me answer?
What talents do I have? the bible says, God has given everyone gifts of the spirit, talents, uniqueness of personality to help this world. But what's mine? I always feel I have no talent and no gifts. Recently after reading the bible, i asked myself, I do have the gift of being able to speak well in front of people, i have good communications skills. But is that enough to get me anywhere? Everyone looks at certs. Funny thing after 8 years in working life and having a degree people still look at SPM results. mad.

Anyways............ what makes a good decision?